It's a damn cold night...

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
いつか失ってしまうのかな。薄れてゆく笑顔と君を守りたい。
-- D-technolife

If fate is a wheel, then we are the sand that is crushed between the cogs.

Don't judge a life by one difficult season.

独自并不代表孤单，在一群人中狂笑着有时更寂寞。
-- 吴庆康

At times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought.
-- Deepak Chopra
于是我让孤独更孤独，有一种不是悲伤的悲伤，才是刻骨铭心的悲伤。
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
-- St Francis.
People's actions are influenced by their expectations. People respond not just to what is happening now, but to what they anticipate will happen in the future.
-- Sloman
不管你会不会忘了我，我只想告诉你一个秘密。
--《不能说的·秘密》

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.
-- Deepak Chopra

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death but when I stand in front of you yet you don't know that I love you.
-- Tagore
Do do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.
-- Matt 6:34

まだ不器用に笑うね まだ悲しみが似合うから
キミに降る痛みを 拭ってあげたい すべて I for you
-- I For You

the optimistic pessimist

supposedly an adult, she thinks like an adult (too much, if you ask me). deep inside, she is nothing but a little girl, with her little lofty dreams and ideals. and oops, she is breaking them, one by one.
more often than not, she is just an angsty emo kid.

she is only but
a passer-by,

an onlooker,
a walking shadow.

and this girl can't stop writing.

she stalks

|| cyn bea bao zou mel ||
|| joan weepz ||
|| blockc yeanching lehia kexi zhenlin horace alvin dina sandra becca tzehee ||
|| cruzteng peifen dasmondkoh ||
|| xiaozhu xiaogui sunxiezhi ashin kangyong ||
|| derrick jinglun stefsun natho lawrencewong ||
|| feliciachin joannepeh jeanetteaw sharonaw ||
|| xiaohan hyr chimkang mingde dannyyeo ||
|| xuyunling alvinology mrbrown esther ||
|| drbondar psychdigest ||
|| kfdrawing iwrotethisforyou thingsweforget ||

After all, what is in the past but what we choose to remember? They can choose not to hide it, to take what's broken, to feel the pain and know that it will heal. They know where happiness lies, not in a cave or a country, but in love and the freedom to give and take what has been there all along.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

she watches on

Others desire to experience the blessedness of giving, but we often frustrate them by refusing their help.


“你有心事吗？”
“或许有一天，我会告诉你吧。”
--《不能说的·秘密》

she holds on

　Memories were also a way of looking in a mirror, but it was a jagged mirror of broken glass, one that cast imperfect reflections. Like shards, these memories drew blood.

February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 July 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 April 2017 May 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 April 2018 June 2018 July 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 February 2019 April 2019 June 2019 August 2019 October 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 July 2020 November 2020 February 2021 April 2021 July 2021 September 2021 November 2021 March 2022

she never gets

永远不会交的功课 || 永远不会实现的愿望

|| you ||

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself... Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.
-- Deepak Chopra

she thanks

Designer : Wei Jun
Brushes : Deviantart - Spy Glass

I don't know, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pair of eyes and ears, and I'm just trying to stay safe and make sense of what's happening. I know what to avoid, what to worry about.I'm like those kids who live with gunfire going off around them. I don't want pain. I don't want to die. I don't want to see other people around me die. But I don't have anything left inside me to figure out where I fit in or what I want. If I want anything, it's to know what's possible to want.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Sunday, May 28, 2006
withers away @ 12:47 am

tues was our hol in lieu due to the polling day, and we went to kbox:) towards the end we gave up on the mic and just sang haha.. planning another trip down with more ppl like lee shan.. she seriously needs a break before she gets mental breakdown or smth..
thurs was driving lesson 11.. it felt like im just liable to get into an accident haha.. somehow.. someday..
went out for class dinner last night.. class = casie, jan, sishan, yan chuan and me.. doink.. haha.. chatted over pizza.. planning another night out after mr goh's wedding.. wonder if the turnout will be better.. oh yes and we called mang juin too.. took turns to talk to him.. he sounded so blur.. coz he just had field camp haha..
ni ting ji mo zai chang ge
wen rou de
feng kuang de
bei shang yue lai yue shen ke
zen yang cai neng gou rang ta ting ne
ji mo zai chang ge by a sang

It's something Mystical

Monday, May 22, 2006
withers away @ 11:58 am

i wish the answers would come to me as easily as they came to me whenever u asked qns last time.
i wish i could tell myself that things would turn out ok, or that things are ok as they are.
dun ask anything. just tell me.

It's something Mystical

Thursday, May 18, 2006
withers away @ 11:47 pm

been out pretty often for the past long wkend.. was fun though a bit tiring towards the end.. anyhow, driving lesson 10 went ok, just that i was a little panicky when i drove into a car park for the first time. bleah..
class politics sux..

It's something Mystical

Friday, May 05, 2006
withers away @ 11:20 pm

its so happening today! but overall, im one happy gal today:D (rare huh)
well it was the last day for the NIE trainee teachers today.. so sad!! uncle low bought so much food we were really having a party in the resource rm.. really can't imagine that he was a policeman last time.. haha.. we were just having a happy time tgt.. speaking our own language.. they give us a diff feeling from wad other colleagues give us.. hmmmm exchanged contacts.. but i wonder how long it'll last..
den i went home and a big brown envelop frm moe greeted me.. haha i was elated to read the contents man.. i got my scholarship!! hohohohoho.. hohohoho..
rushed off to nj for the concert.. before it started we (ky, amy, yiyun and me) were actually sitting on stage talking.. u see, its like our own place already.. haha.. oh yes i forgot to mention the previous time that lt5 looks v diff now.. hoho.. concert was good.. glitches here and there of coz.. cheng liang and weiguang's love ballads were nice, though singing wise.. they could have been better.. but it was touching.. though we only found out abt the meaning of love ballads to weiguang after the whole concert haha.. so funny.. concert on the whole was entertaining and the skid was super funny.. we were teasing them abt it even on the bus on the way to kap for dinner later.. juniors, well done:) we the exco, or rather the ex-exco are v proud.. solos, small grp performances, skid, lighting, slideshow, it all added to the success of string theory.. really nice..
after the concert we were taking photos, talking to people, went to the cage (its in a horrendous state.. yiyun the ex-QM nearly died.. zihao better be careful..), walked out of the main gate, went for dinner at kap.. we were juz talking non stop.. looking back on the old times of all our classes having meals at kap.. of coz i cant forget those hilarious times s27 spent there..
love the feeling of going out with friends.. :D

It's something Mystical

Thursday, May 04, 2006
withers away @ 11:21 pm

mon: labour day ie long awaited hol! met up with the gang.. caught the wild.. den we went to the arcade.. and somehow time just slipped by lidat.. haha.. we were having our usual laughs, over nothing and over everything.. haha.. den later i was labouring thru the night marking the p2 compos.. nearly died.. lucky i didnt haha
driving lesson 8 ytd: i could have just died there and then.. this time it was a motorcyclist.. i was on the leftmost lane and he was beside my car on my right.. in abt 2sec i was going to reach the junction and he made a left turn in front of me. i just stun loh.. uncle honked the guy furiously.. he was damn pissed and kept scolding the guy.. in fact he was so pissed he sorta suffered frm indigestion :s den i got so shaken i lost my composure, and stalled my car in a stupid attempt to get the car going without even changing into 1st gear.. this better not happen during my test..

karma. its all karma.

It's something Mystical